This often-used sentence “you have daddy issues” seems to target women who are perceived to have dysfunctional relationships with men, tracing it to unresolved issues they supposedly have with their fathers.
Nobody knows exactly how the term “daddy issues” started or became popular. But there’s a theory called the “father complex” introduced by the scientist Sigmund Freud. It explains how a guy’s relationship with his dad could influence his adult relationships and is likely related to the term.
Over the years, the term has been used to describe the impact that an absent father, whether physically or emotionally, can have on the lives and relationships of both men and women. This idea evolved into the colloquial term “daddy issues.”
Today, we will focus on women and how to identify traces of daddy issues in adult behaviour and interactions with others.Common causes of daddy issues include the absence of a father figure during a female child’s upbringing, an emotionally distant father, a father who is physically, sexually, or verbally abusive, or a father who demands perfection from his child.
The episode of Pulse Podcast Network’s Feminine Expressions Podcast (FEP) explores this subject as the hosts, Teso Uwaibiand Enkay discuss “daddy issues” with examples from their lives.
According to Uwaibi, daddy issues have influenced her behaviour, making her become a people pleaser. She said, “I found that I was constantly seeking validation outside and engaging in people-pleasing behaviours because I always felt that whatever I did was never enough for my dad.”
In addition to becoming a people pleaser, here are three other ways that having daddy issues can affect women:
- You are only attracted to older men: This is a cliché, but it rings true. Women with these issues often prefer relationships with only older men, looking for the love they lacked from their father figures when they were kids. Due to the absence of a protective father during their upbringing, they tend to go for men who can emotionally and financially dominate and care for them. If you find yourself consistently attracted to much older men for reasons of control, security, and financial stability, it’s likely that you have daddy issues. Such relationships can be quite unhealthy.
- You have attachment and abandonment issues: Once you get past the first sweet phases of your relationship and reality sets in, you may begin to experience anxiety about their partner leaving, cheating, hurting or abandoning you. You begin to anticipate the worst from your partner in the relationship. This stems from past abandonment experiences, particularly if your dad and mum separated while you were young when they were young. This fear of abandonment would have you feeling that everyone you end up loving would eventually leave you. This makes you more vulnerable to a relationship where you are not treated well because you are scared of being alone.
- Sex becomes a tool for seeking validation : While other women enjoy sex as the beautiful gift it is, women with daddy issues tend to use sex to get attention, feel wanted, or be loved. They might engage in multiple sexual relationships to avoid emotional entanglement with a single person. There’s this need to have sex, and a lot of it, to validate your desirability. It’s like one trying to prove to themselves that they’re lovable. On the flip side, you may shut down sexually and completely hate the act altogether.
Daddy Issues- All You Need To Know is the fifth episode of the second season of the Feminine Expressions Podcast. New episodes drop at 10 am every Friday.