Do you remember the feeling of pleasure you get when you first start dating someone? We want to shout it from the rooftops for everyone to hear when we start a new relationship.
That is very satisfying.
Sharing the news publicly isn’t always a smart idea, though. Before sharing our relationship status on social media, we should occasionally limit our rooftop shouting to our closest friends and family members.
Stacie Ikka, a relationship expert and dating coach, suggested that there are instances when it’s wise to hold off on telling your online networks who you are seeing or if you are even associated with someone at all.
The valid reasons to keep your relationship status secret:
1. You receive a lot of unwanted attention
Some people see a “single” status on Facebook as an invitation to be in contact, overtly flirt or even harass someone. If you are getting invitations that make you uncomfortable, consider leaving your relationship status blank.
“If you are single and not necessarily looking to use Facebook as a dating site and simply selected that status because you thought that all fields in your profile needed to be filled out … beware,” Ikka said.
Sometimes other singles, and even people who are in relationships already, prey on women who announce that they are on the market.
2. You won’t want other people to interfere with your relationships
“It is often best that the details and status of that relationship be contained among the two people involved—and the select few they choose to confide in,” Ikka added. “For a relationship to develop between two people in a way that leads to a healthy future.”
This also applies to people starting new relationships.
“Moving from a casual to a committed relationship can often be tricky,” Ikka observed. “And opening up that relationship to an online audience, which is presumably broader than one’s immediate social circle, opens the relationship up to commentary—some of which could be damaging, especially if the relationship is new.”
For a period of time or until the two of you feel secure in this new arrangement, think about keeping your status private. Additionally, you might wish to update your status at that time without making it public through your news feed.
3. You want to ease some pressure
“If the couple has not discussed how or whether they are going to ‘announce’ their union on Facebook, and one party goes ahead and changes their status, it might make the other party feel uncomfortable or put unnecessary pressure on that person,” Ikka said.
“Even if it was a joint decision, it exposes the relationship to scrutiny, observations, and involvement that is not necessarily appropriate during the early phases of a relationship, where the focus should really be on whether attraction, compatibility, common values, and shared interests will survive the long-term.”
4. You want an easier breakup
Splitting up can be more complicated if hundreds of your Facebook friends can see your status.
“Breakups are painful in the best of times,” said Ikka. And changing a status from “in a relationship” to “single” or even “it’s complicated” can draw attention right in the middle of that pain.
“Even if that attention comes in the form of support and sympathy to an already difficult, personal, and emotional experience,” Ikka said.
5. You’re tired of people judging your love life
Facebook is not your diary or a private conversation with your best friend. It’s a loudspeaker to every one of your coworkers, high-school frenemies, mom’s friends, and siblings you are connected with on the social network.
Not all of them may get the situation, or you.
“If you are the type of Facebook user who updates your relationship status on a regular basis and that status is changing with a frequency that others may deem abnormal, you are opening yourself up to judgment, ridicule, and the potential for losing credibility amongst your Facebook network,” Ikka said.
“So, if you are sensitive to other people’s opinions, think carefully before changing your relationship status and ask yourself why you’re doing it.”
